Memories. They bring up all sorts of emotions. Scrapbooks are good ways of keeping memories together and make them tangible...which is why I decided to make one for my fiance. Don't worry, he knows about it because I can't surprise him to save my life; that and his sense of creativity will make it not suck when I'm done.
Anyway...I started looking at a scrapbook from a long time ago for some ideas. It was a scrapbook given to me as a present from some old friends after I moved to South Carolina from New York. I came from a small town, and when I opened it tonight a whole slew of flashbacks came galloping through.
I was ending 8th grade and about to start high school when I moved here. I hated leaving my friends because we were so close. I have only awesome memories from those days. I miss four-wheeling and dancing and playing volleyball with my best friends. I didn't do any of that after I moved here; I danced for a little while but stopped halfway through high school. I wanted to try to start a new life here, but now that I look back and think about where I am now, I probably would have done some things differently.
To be honest, I mostly shed my past because my mom didn't really want me to live a country-kind-of-life; she thought I was going to be a journalist and travel the world. I was scared to death when I had to tell her that wasn't going to cut it for me, and that my passion was with a much less profitable career: teaching. She took it really well, I think she always knew actually but didn't try to support it before I told her it was what I wanted to do.
Now, I'm not a teacher but I did graduate with a Bachelor's degree and have a full time job. I found the love of my life and can't wait till we start making wedding plans. But I can't help but miss the way things used to be before we moved here, the fun I used to have. This place was all new to me and I tried to just make the best of it, when really I ended up just being "there" in it. It makes me sad because I'm the one to blame for that.
I think I'm going to make a change...the change is TBD. I don't know what it is, but I can't be lazy and let things happen anymore, I have to make them happen. I mean that's how life starts isn't it? Life is made, it doesn't just happen...there is no immaculate conception.
While I spend the rest of my night pondering what it is I'm going to do, here's a little piece of my past (link to video)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1639076743003&l=1870075045238113584
Cya!
KNG :)
Friday, January 17, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Just "B"cause
I've been starting to play around with different writing styles/ideas. I find that I like to express things that happen in poems...which is crazy because after all of my high school English classes, poetry became my enemy. You know all those beautiful works that you would have no idea what was being talked about, but would want to read it anyway because it sounded so lovely? And then a teacher gets a hold of it, and wants you to pick the poem apart for 3-4 weeks worth of classes to figure out what the poet was trying to say and what style he was writing in and how all of that affects the world. Good grief.
Sifting through my mind the other day, here is one I came up with; it's super cheesy sounding, so excuse that.
Love.
Red beard, blue eyes…something mysterious with a secret or two
A built up wall that no one could demolish, a substance done with friends
and alone to ease it all
What could break it down?
Nothing.
Blonde hair, blue eyes…an aching pain with a want to be needed
A locked door awaiting the right key, open it to fill a void and rest the
thoughts
Where is the key holder?
Nowhere.
One with words, he expresses in confidence, feeling her out
She seems shy, quiet and cannot be figured out
Who is this girl?
Angel.
That is what he called her, she is his own angel
Sweet, funny, and easy to talk to…will she give him a chance?
Yes.
Plaid shirt, jeans…seems she is looking at a modern-day Paul Bunyan
He called her an angel…flirting to get somewhere or was he sincere?
Reality.
They spoke for an hour in the parking lot, he asked for her number
She had butterflies in her stomach and couldn’t figure out why
Why is he so easy to talk to?
Future.
Laughter, trips, kisses and fights…everything with passion and emotion
She tore down his wall, he had the key to her heart; it all came down to
this
Will you marry me?
Yes.
Re-reading that makes it even more embarrassing to publish, but you can't be afraid of what you write; the true stuff is what's built up inside.
Till next time
KNG :)
Sunday, January 5, 2014
"B" Positive...It's a New Year
It's been 5 days since 2014 sprung up on me. In a way, I'm glad that it did. Every year has its good parts and bad parts but this year, both sides were so strong I'm ready for a year of a little less crazy.
I like happy endings, so I'll start with the not-so-great. Not only did 2013 mark the 10 year anniversary of my sister's death, but I lost an amazing person around the same date. May is now the worst month ever. My great-aunt was an amazing woman. She and my Nana were practically attached at the hip as sisters go. They both showed me what strong, independent women really look like. I've been told in the past I will most likely be like my Nana, as wonderful as she is, when I get older, but I hope to be like both of them. The worst part of it all, I was in the middle of finals and graduating that I couldn't go to her funeral in Canada. I was crushed that I couldn't be there, but I'm glad that at least my mom could go. My cousins will always have a permanent residence in my heart, and I know they will be ok through it all.
On top of that, I found out the government screwed up with my tax returns for not just last year, but the past TWO years, and I had to pay for it. My paychecks from May until July pretty much went to them, and needless to say my savings went down the tube. I hope they're happy because they'll be getting more money from me for my school loans starting this month. Yay...
With the bad, comes the good though. I graduated from college and made an A in a class where the only grade was based on a 30+ page paper. I found out about my aunt the night before it was due...needless to say I wasn't expecting an A at all. Even though I haven't found a job to go with my degree yet, and will probably have to go back to school to get certified in something, I finished college. I got my Bachelor's degree in 4 years and I'm glad to be done. I made it and did what my parents never got to do.
In addition to graduation, my lovely boyfriend who has been with me through many arguments, fights, dramatic scenes, laughs, and all other life events, decided he wanted to marry me. On August 23 he proposed in the cheesiest way, but I cried like a baby and wouldn't have asked for it in a better way. One day I may write about how he proposed, but for now I still like to keep it to myself just to smile when I need to.
My fiance's sister also brought another addition into her family, and I am being called "Aunt Kayla." I never thought that would happen after losing my sister when I was 11, but the feeling is great. Plus it keeps the topic of babies in the distant future between my love and I...which is perfectly fine by me, not quite ready for that yet.
Speaking of babies, my oldest first cousin and his wife turned my Nana into a first-time Great-Grandmother and everyone is ecstatic for them :) I haven't met her yet, and may not for a while since we all live so far apart, but I wish them luck and a great life for all of them.
Entering 2014, my fiance is in the process of getting us a house so we can start our lives together. We'll start planning our wedding after we get settled into a place of our own.
What I hope for this year is more craziness, but less of the bad kind. I'm ready to start my life with the love of my life and take more chances, explore new things...have new adventures. It's a scary yet exciting feeling at the same time.
Happy New Year to everyone! I hope 2014 brings joy and insanity to all...in the best way :)
Till next time
KNG :)
I like happy endings, so I'll start with the not-so-great. Not only did 2013 mark the 10 year anniversary of my sister's death, but I lost an amazing person around the same date. May is now the worst month ever. My great-aunt was an amazing woman. She and my Nana were practically attached at the hip as sisters go. They both showed me what strong, independent women really look like. I've been told in the past I will most likely be like my Nana, as wonderful as she is, when I get older, but I hope to be like both of them. The worst part of it all, I was in the middle of finals and graduating that I couldn't go to her funeral in Canada. I was crushed that I couldn't be there, but I'm glad that at least my mom could go. My cousins will always have a permanent residence in my heart, and I know they will be ok through it all.
On top of that, I found out the government screwed up with my tax returns for not just last year, but the past TWO years, and I had to pay for it. My paychecks from May until July pretty much went to them, and needless to say my savings went down the tube. I hope they're happy because they'll be getting more money from me for my school loans starting this month. Yay...
With the bad, comes the good though. I graduated from college and made an A in a class where the only grade was based on a 30+ page paper. I found out about my aunt the night before it was due...needless to say I wasn't expecting an A at all. Even though I haven't found a job to go with my degree yet, and will probably have to go back to school to get certified in something, I finished college. I got my Bachelor's degree in 4 years and I'm glad to be done. I made it and did what my parents never got to do.
In addition to graduation, my lovely boyfriend who has been with me through many arguments, fights, dramatic scenes, laughs, and all other life events, decided he wanted to marry me. On August 23 he proposed in the cheesiest way, but I cried like a baby and wouldn't have asked for it in a better way. One day I may write about how he proposed, but for now I still like to keep it to myself just to smile when I need to.
My fiance's sister also brought another addition into her family, and I am being called "Aunt Kayla." I never thought that would happen after losing my sister when I was 11, but the feeling is great. Plus it keeps the topic of babies in the distant future between my love and I...which is perfectly fine by me, not quite ready for that yet.
Speaking of babies, my oldest first cousin and his wife turned my Nana into a first-time Great-Grandmother and everyone is ecstatic for them :) I haven't met her yet, and may not for a while since we all live so far apart, but I wish them luck and a great life for all of them.
Entering 2014, my fiance is in the process of getting us a house so we can start our lives together. We'll start planning our wedding after we get settled into a place of our own.
What I hope for this year is more craziness, but less of the bad kind. I'm ready to start my life with the love of my life and take more chances, explore new things...have new adventures. It's a scary yet exciting feeling at the same time.
Happy New Year to everyone! I hope 2014 brings joy and insanity to all...in the best way :)
Till next time
KNG :)
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